Ask Micki: Tutee who HATES summer school

Question: Hi, Micki. I am tutoring a junior high kid in algebra, and he is not excited at all. He hates the fact that he's in summer school, and mentions (at least a dozen times per tutoring session) how he'd rather be having fun with his friends instead of studying.  To top it off, it's math, which as you probably know, isn't the most popular subject offered.

Any ideas or suggestions on how to perk up my bummed out tutee?
Thanks,
Allison C. in NJ

Answer: Hi, Allison.  I feel your pain...and the pain of your tutee - I had to take a summer trigonometry class myself back in high school, and it wasn't as fun as the swimming and beach BBQs I had been planning!

Believe it or not, what helped me most of all was time.  As I got to know my tutor, saw my grades improve, and realized that I could swim and BBQ after finishing my homework, an interesting thing happened - I started getting interested in the subject matter.  I think, sometimes, summer school students are so ticked off at missing out on vacation time that they resist being excited about tutoring or their classwork. 

Give him some time.  Chances are, he'll realize that summer tutoring isn't so bad after all, and there is still plenty of vacation time to enjoy.

If you want to speed things along, mention how much time he has after summer school/tutoring to hang out with his friends.  If you're feeling ambitious, calculate how many non-summer school, non-tutoring hours of vacation time he has to enjoy - chances are, it is way more than he thinks!

You could also try a change of scenery - find a large table to work at in the backyard, meet at an air conditioned library, etc.  Find a place that gives your tutee the feel on not being stuck at home, while also being a place that isn't distracting during tutoring.

You know what else helped me through my summer as a math tutee?  Having a friend with me.  No, I'm not talking about a distracting friend who snacks and plays video games while your tutee tries to work. :-)  

I'm talking about a friend who worked with me - we worked together on homework and during tutoring, challenging each other to be our best. 

Ask your tutee if he has a friend who is taking the same summer course.  If he does, and you feel comfortable with it, offer to tutor in a mini-group environment.  See if your tutee might be interested in having a tutoring group/study group with his friend.  It may make it a bit more entertaining for him, and it will let your tutee know that he is not the only kid in summer school.

Good luck, and happy tutoring!

Notes from Charlie: Free tutoring

Recently, I had the opportunity to give something away to a group of people who were really enthusiastic about my gift.  It felt amazing!

What was I handing out to people? My tutoring services!

While on vacation, I had a chance to travel to the southern US (a few weeks, visiting family), and help out some local families who needed tutors for their kids who were taking summer classes. 

Many families were advertising (via flyers) that they needed the tutoring help.  Sadly, they were having a tough time getting tutoring help, because there was very little payment involved. 
Very sad, but true. 

Unfortunately, the area that I was visiting is an area of the US that has been devastated by the gulf oil spill, and parents who would have otherwise been paying standard rates for tutoring are now having a difficult time making ends meet.

So, I contacted some of these parents while I was there, and offered my tutoring services free of charge.

The parents were thrilled, and I felt great being able to help out - it was great for all of us!

What about your community? 
Are there any families who might appreciate a free gift of tutoring?
Might be a good thing to check out...trust me, it feels great!

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Ask Micki: How to answer a rude, nosey question?

Question: Hi, Micki, I just came back from a family dinner, and I had a family member (he's kind of our family's resident bully) ask me, "So, when are you going to get a traditional, real job?"  Ouch.

Tutoring is a real job - it is my chosen career.  A career that I love.  

I was offended and, even though I said that I *did* have a "real job," I wish I could have said more to defend myself.  The truth is, I was hurt and flustered from what felt like a criticism of my career choice.  


Any ideas what I can say the next time I have someone ask me about my tutoring career?
Thanks,
Anonymous

Answer: Hi, there, Anonymous.  First of all, I am really sorry that you had to go through that.  Family members, well meaning or otherwise, often say some pretty off the wall things that have the potential to be really hurtful. 

The good news is - you were completely right!  

Tutoring is, indeed, a career choice (just like someone choosing to be an investment banker, artist, musician, coach, teacher, etc.).

When I was in high school I knew, without a doubt, that I wanted to be a tutor.  It was fun helping the other students out, I made some extra money, and  I improved my own grades by brushing up on the material.  


Thirty years later that excitement about tutoring hasn't waned - it is still a fantastic career!


As for the "traditional" job part - what could be more traditional than tutoring?  It was the only method of teaching back in ancient times.  That's pretty traditional if you ask me!

Getting back to the modern era...To be a tutor, a person must have a passion for learning, dedication to career development, the ability to be patient, an enthusiasm for academic material, and the ability to listen and lead a discussion.  It is, in essence, teaching on a much more personal, one-on-one level.


Tutoring is rewarding, too, on every level - including the financial level.  Anyone who defines a "successful" career as one that pays well (I won't even get into how I feel about that :-) , will be pleased to know that dedicated, driven tutors bring in a very good salary.   

In fact, like many freelance style careers, the earning potential of tutoring is unlimited!   A yearly salary comparable to other (more "traditional") professions is the norm.

Even better, during both a recession and times of prosperity, freelancers continue to stay ahead of the curve with job security.   I never had to worry about getting laid off, since I was not about to lay off myself! :-)  

All joking aside, I had a few clients drop off for a while, but the overall job stability and income level stayed pretty constant throughout the bumpy economy.  


Most importantly, if you love what you do, and you love to tutor - embrace it, and be proud of what you do!

As always - happy tutoring! 

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Photo credit: ba1969 ©
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Ask Micki: Tutee with a hygiene problem.

Question: Hi, Micki, I have an embarrassing situation that I need your help with ASAP.  I have been tutoring a guy in college mathematics.  He's a great tutee, pays attention, and is cool to work with. 

One problem- and I don't know how to put this delicately- he has really, really bad body odor. 

It's bad enough that it is affecting my concentration, and I feel like we aren't having the most successful tutoring sessions because of it.  As summer heats up, I can only see this becoming a bigger problem.  Help!

Thanks,
Anon. in So. Cal.

Answer: Hi, there.  Sorry to hear about your awkward situation - personal grooming and hygiene issues are difficult to approach, because you don't want to embarrass your tutee or hurt his feelings. 

The thing is, if it is affecting your tutoring sessions together, you need to mention it somehow.  Think of it this way - you will be doing him a favor in the long run.  Just make sure to approach the situation subtly, and with compassion.

Here's what I would do:

Step One: Casually drop a few hints about summer heat causing excess perspiration, how difficult it can be to stay fresh and dry during the summer months, how many people seem to forget deodorant during hot months, etc.  Quite often, by dropping some hints, you will be able to help the situation without directly approaching the issue head on. 

Step Two: If step one didn't have much effect, try a change of scenery.  Mention that as it heats up, it may be a good idea to meet somewhere breezy and air conditioned.  Ask him if he swims or works out - maybe you two could meet right after he has showered, alleviating the bodily funk issue.

Step Three: When all else fails, try the direct, polite approach.  Mention that you have noticed that, as it has gotten warmer outside, both of you have been sweating a lot more.  Lighten the mood by joking that it nay be tough to study in a funky environment, and suggest that maybe you two could meet after it cools down for the evening, meet in an air conditioned space, etc.  If you make the problem into something that affects both of you (i.e. sweating), he will be less offended by it, and more grateful that you want to keep from stinking up the session.

Good luck and, as always, happy tutoring!
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Ask Micki: Stickers or no stickers?

Question:  Okay, Micki, my friend (also a tutor) and I are having a friendly debate about something, and we thought we'd ask you to make the final call!

I tutor mostly first and second grade kids in language, history, and French.  I hand out short worksheets to the kids when I tutor them so that they can keep up with the work, and so that they can stay practiced in between tutoring sessions. 

When I get them back, if the tutee has done a great job, the paper gets a smiley face sticker.  I loved stickers as a kid, so I assumed my kid tutees would like them as well.  They always seem excited to see the happy face sticker smiling up at them, signaling a job well done.

My friend (who tutors high school students), on the other hand, thinks that first and second graders are too old to like stickers, and that I should just write "good job" on the paper instead. 

Please, Micki, settle this once and for all!

Thank you,
Fiona in Seattle

Answer: NOT like stickers?! Blasphemy! :)

All joking aside, I am in my mid 30s and I *still* love stickers, as do the kids I tutor.  There's just something great about a bright spot of cheery color on an otherwise drab worksheet that makes you feel that the job you did was extra well done. 

Sometimes, I've even been known to go for stickers other than the happy face - dinosaurs, flowers, space themed stickers, and underwater life all seem to be winners.

That being said, if you do encounter a kid who is "too cool" for stickers, write something positive on his or her paper instead.  Save the sticker for the kid who really enjoys it!

Hope I was able to help - Happy tutoring!
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Ask Micki: Tutee with a flu

Question: Hi, Micki.  I just got a voicemail message from my tutee (I tutor him in college level, elementary Spanish). 

He has a really nasty flu, and told me that it's the first day he's had it, and he feels terrible.  He also said that he doesn't want to cancel our session tonight.  I want to help him out with his Spanish, but I also don't want to get sick.  I am notorious for catching pretty much any flu bug that drifts my way. 

I also don't know how well he's going to hold up sitting upright at the dining table (where we usually work) for a 45 minute tutoring session.

What can I do?
Is there a way to help him without catching the flu?
I don't want to be rude, and make it sound like I don't want to be around his germy self.  I guess I am just not certain how to approach this nicely.

Thank you for your advice,
Justin (the flu catcher!)

Answer: Hi, Justin - I have to admit, you calling yourself a "flu catcher" made me laugh - I can relate! 

Here's what I would do, talk to Justin (either by phone or email).

Mention that sitting upright at a table for 45 minutes worth of session may not be as good for him as getting some rest, let him know that he is doing well with his Spanish and could skip a session (if it is true), offer to reschedule for a better time, mention how easily you catch flu bugs.  Those should be enough hints to take care of the situation.

If your tutee is really determined to be tutored tonight, see if you could set up a chat room, live chat through Google or Yahoo, opt for Skype, use AIM, or correspond via telephone for vocabulary drills.  You could even use one of the video chat software programs available to get more of an "in person" feel.  A friend of mine uses Yahoo video chat for a lot of her sessions.

You could also opt for a combination of the above - maybe try chatting while using the phone to listen to his accent/speaking. 

You get the idea - aim for tutoring him without getting too close.

Good luck, stay healthy, and happy tutoring!
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