Ask Micki: Accepting a gift as a tutor

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Question: Hi, Micki. I'm wondering if it is OK to accept a gift from my tutee's parents. 

Let me explain a little bit - I know that my tutee's family isn't very well off financially right now, and every penny counts. 

The economy hit them pretty hard, and I wound up reducing my rates almost in half so that I could keep tutoring their daughter.  She's 8 years old, a great student, and a lot of fun to work with during tutoring. 

Despite the economic situation, my tutee's parents generously gave me a gift card as a "Christmas thanks" for all of the help and tutoring over the past 7 months. 

Should I accept it?

Thanks for your advice,
Alecia
Dayton, OH

Answer: Hi, Alecia.  First of all, what a great person you are for thinking of your tutee's parents' situation before your own excitement over a gift card. That's impressive, and you should be congratulated for making their lives a little easier during this tough time. 

The short answer - Yes, definitely accept the gift card graciously, and make sure to hand write a thank you note.  (Not trying to sound like your mother, here, but hand written thank you notes go a long way in today's high tech society!)

This purchase was likely a bit of a stretch for them right now, and the last thing you want to do is hurt their feelings by refusing to accept their generous gift.  So, accept it thankfully, and be thrilled that they are so happy with you as their daughter's tutor!

That said, if you are still concerned, and don't want them breaking the bank for you, reciprocate in a way that will not look insulting.  Stop by a favorite store or restaurant of theirs and pick up a modest gift card.  No, it doesn't have to match the gift they gave you. 

You could also pick up a gift card to a local toy store, clothing store, or even megastore for their daughter.  This would allow their daughter to pick up a fun new toy or outfit without it costing her parents a penny.  I'm sure they would be very thankful for that! 

Another option is to do some pro bono work, if you can afford to, for a week or two.  Or, print out some "Free Tutoring Session" cards to give to your tutee's parents.  They can redeem them whenever they need to do so.

You can also opt for any combination of the above.  Whatever you decide, make sure to present the gifts with a smile on your face...and don't forget to write that thank you note!

Happy holidays, and merry tutoring!

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