Ask Micki: Tutor comparisons

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Questions: Bonjour, Micki! I was contacted by a family who needed a French tutor for their daughter. 

Their previous tutor of 2 years had gone away to college, and they needed someone to continue to help their daughter conjugate those French verbs.

The situation I'm having is that they are CONSTANTLY comparing me to their old tutor, Paula (not her real name). 

When I present a topic, I'm told, "that isn't the way Paula did things." When we work on vocabulary, I'm told, "Paula always went over the words like this..."  If I give a mini-quiz, I hear about how Paula never did that.

This happens at least a dozen times per session. It's driving me crazy!

Any help for this?

Merci!
Allison

Answer: Hi Allison, thanks for your question.  Believe it or not, this is a fairly common complaint when it comes to tutoring. 

The good news is, time is the best remedy for this type of situation.  Over time, "Paula always did it this way..." will be gradually replaced by, "This is how Allison and I work through the French assignment..."

That said, I imagine you'd like a way to deal with this right now, so I'll give you a few tips that I used to handle a similar situation in my own life as a new tutor.

First of all, take a few minutes to talk to your tutee. Good, open, friendly communication is key.  Find out what Paula did that worked so well, and see if any of the ideas are something you'd consider implementing during your tutoring sessions. 

Maybe Paula did a mini-quiz recap at the end of the session that may be a fun idea to continue, maybe she used flashcards that you would consider using, etc.  By keeping the dialogue (and your mind) open to new suggestions, your tutee will feel heard, and you may pick up a few good ideas for your sessions!

Also, you may consider taking a few minutes to talk about how you understand that Paula had a certain way of doing things, but so do you.  Keep the tone upbeat and positive.  Play up the good points of your tutoring style and technique.  Let the tutee (and her parents) know that with a new tutor comes wonderful new opportunities for learning, and new ways of approaching a topic.  Mention how utilizing new learning styles keeps the mind active and the material fresh.

It could be that just hearing about the newness of your tutoring will make them enthusiastic enough to drop their old expectations and ways of thinking. 

Good luck, and happy tutoring!

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