I mean, parental involvement is great, without a doubt, but it has gotten ridiculous. Back when I was a kid (I know, I know, battle cry of the older adults, but I swear I'm only in my mid-30s!), parents weren't afraid to let you try things for yourself.
Sometimes you tried and succeeded. You felt great about what you accomplished, and it gave you the confidence to go out and tackle anything that you dreamed of doing. It was a great feeling, and it went a long way in helping you become an independent, confident young adult.
Then there were the times that you tried and fell short of what you wanted to accomplish. This was also good. Failures, mistakes, or whatever else you want to call them help build character. Smart people learn from these mistakes. Failures develop strength and determination in a person, and there is a great feeling of accomplishment when a student can turn an "I can't" into a "I did it!"
By not letting their children try, helicopter parents are robbing their kids of these possibilities and experiences. I doubt a child gets the same long-term sense of satisfaction from his mother doing his homework for him.
You may think I'm kidding, but I'm not. In the past few months, I have tutored 3 students (7th-9th grade) whose mothers have actually done the homework for them. No, not helped - they actually did the homework for their children!
It was in the mother's handwriting each and every time. I was appalled. I mentioned something, politely of course, to the moms in question, and all gave me a variant of the same answer.
"That's my child, so I have a right to do his homework. He was getting a B and we (we??) need an A."
Then they sat back as though nothing had happened. As though what they just said made any sense at all to the development of their child academically or socially.
It honestly left me staring at them, slack-jawed, for a few minutes. I kept waiting for the laugh, coupled with a "I'm kidding," but that never happened.
At what point are you crossing the line from Helicopter mom to cheating facilitator? I'd say completing sheets of homework for your child qualifies.
Sorry to rant, but these helicopter parents can drive me crazy some days. Has anyone else had problems with helicopter parents? Ever had a homework scenario like mine? What did you do?
Joana in CA
2 comments:
There has definitely been an increase in "helicopter" parents over the years. Doing your child's homework is definitely crossing the line. A child that is coddled like that will never learn to be independent.
Tutoring Match: I couldn't agree more. That is craziness, and it is not helping the child out in the long run. I'm glad my "evil" parents forced me to do my own homework. :)
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