Ask Micki: Shy guy who wants to be a good tutor

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Question: Hi, Micki. I need some help getting started with my new tutoring career.  The thing is, I am a little bit shy.

Don't get me wrong, I'll go out with friends, and don't get really nervous being out in public or anything.  In fact, if I told my friends that I was shy, they'd never believe me. 

It's just that I have some trouble meeting new people, and I'm afraid that it will negatively affect my chances of being a good tutor.

Any advice for an enthusiastic person who wants to tutor, but isn't outgoing?

Thanks,
ShyGuy in CA

Answer: Hi, ShyGuy, thanks for your question! 

Here's the deal, and I say this to every newly budding tutor who is worried that he or she is too shy for this business - not being outgoing is okay!  In fact, it is great - I am fairly shy myself, and it has never held me back at all.  I have also had some great tutors who were pretty shy, and they were some of the best tutors I ever had.

Also, because I was a pretty shy student, having a shy tutor actually put me at ease!

Imagine a world where everyone was the exact same -outgoing- it would get exhausting and boring!  If being a bit shy is part of your personality, embrace it, and learn to work with it.  It doesn't sound like it is debilitating shyness, so it is, without a doubt, possible for you to get out there and tutor successfully.

That said, if you are feeling uncomfortable contacting and meeting tutees and clients for the first time, there are several things you can do to help yourself and your tutoring career. 

First of all, realize that you are not alone.  A lot of people can get a little nervous before meeting new people.  It's completely normal.  Remember that the friends you hang out with now were once strangers.  Imagine if you had never taken that chance to meet those new people, you wouldn't have the friends you do now!  Be bold.  Gear yourself up to take a chance.  Get excited about meeting someone new.

I can almost guarantee that once you meet your tutee for the first time, any nervousness you had about meeting will quickly disappear, and you will feel comfortable tutoring.  Trust me, I was the same way. 

Second, be prepared when meeting your tutee.  My most successful tutoring sessions, and the ones in which I feel the most comfortable, are the ones that I have prepared well for in advance.  When I go into a session with worksheets, ideas, plans, and knowledge of the subject, I feel confident, and my shyness takes a backseat to my enthusiasm. 

Third, try some stress reduction before you meet your tutee.  Do some deep breathing, strike a yoga pose or two, sketch, take a short stroll...whatever it is you need to do to de-stress, do it, and notice how much less nervous you are about your tutoring meeting.

Fourth, and most importantly, be yourself.  Just in case you missed that, I'll say it again louder :-)  

Be Yourself

It may sound corny, but it is true.  If you are being yourself, you will feel more at ease, you won't come across as fake, you won't be stressed out trying to keep up an impressive appearance, and you will make your tutee more comfortable.  Plus, by being yourself you have the opportunity to connect with your tutee over similar backgrounds, shared hobbies, or similar interests. 

Good luck, ShyGuy!

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