Ask Micki: Tutoring a Family Member

Question: Hi, Micki. I have been tutoring for about 9 years, and was just recently asked if I could tutor my 10 year old niece. I know that mixing business and personal life can be disastrous, and I am wondering if saying "yes" to this tutoring gig is a bad idea? Should I avoid working with family?

Thanks for your help!
~ Uncertain Aunt, WI.

Answer: Hi, Uncertain Aunt, thanks for your question! Traditionally, a lot of people say that mixing family and business is a recipe for disaster. I disagree.

I think that tutoring family members can be fun, rewarding, and helpful for the tutee - all of the elements that any of your tutoring sessions have.

Think about all of the older brothers and sisters who help their younger siblings with homework, or parents who successfully homeschool their children. These are both methods of tutoring or teaching that work well.

I had a lot of help from relatives when it came to my homework, and remember turning to my aunt for help with biology, my dad for math, my grandfather for some practical garage skills, etc...all tutoring in their own way. It was fantastic! I learned a lot during the "tutoring," had fun, and was able to spend some time getting to know them better.

The trick to making it work? Laying down a few ground rules and keeping the lines of communication open between you and your tutee.

Let your niece/tutee (and her parents) know that you are excited about working together, that you know that tutoring will be beneficial for her, and that you think it would be a great idea to set up some times for tutoring sessions. Approach the scheduling as a way to fit quality tutoring time in to everyone's busy schedule.

Let your sister know, in a nice, polite way, that you need to keep track of the tutoring appointments (via time sheet) for record keeping purposes.

This will also help avoid any billing pitfalls in the future if you are being paid for your tutoring. If all else fails, tell her that it is a requirement for your business budget and taxes that you account for income and time scheduled.

Yes, they are family, but treating your tutoring business like a business is an easy way to keep the tension out of the scenario.

Being too casual with your tutoring schedule or record keeping could lead to problems, so treat your niece/sister like any other client when it comes to paperwork. Trust me on this, I found out the hard way!

When the time comes for your first tutoring session, sit down with your niece and let her know what you'll be going over, what you expect her to do, what she can expect of you as a tutor, etc. Use kid friendly terms, but lay out the rules and the groundwork for a successful tutoring relationship.

Last of all - have fun, and enjoy the one-on-one "aunt time" you get to spend with your niece!

Good luck, and happy tutoring!