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Field Notes: Helicopter Moms

Is it just me, or do there seem to be an overabundance of helicopter parents nowadays? 

I mean, parental involvement is great, without a doubt, but it has gotten ridiculous.  Back when I was a kid (I know, I know, battle cry of the older adults, but I swear I'm only in my mid-30s!), parents weren't afraid to let you try things for yourself.

Sometimes you tried and succeeded.  You felt great about what you accomplished, and it gave you the confidence to go out and tackle anything that you dreamed of doing.  It was a great feeling, and it went a long way in helping you become an independent, confident young adult.

Then there were the times that you tried and fell short of what you wanted to accomplish.  This was also good.  Failures, mistakes, or whatever else you want to call them help build character.  Smart people learn from these mistakes.  Failures develop strength and determination in a person, and there is a great feeling of accomplishment when a student can turn an "I can't" into a "I did it!"

By not letting their children try, helicopter parents are robbing their kids of these possibilities and experiences.  I doubt a child gets the same long-term sense of satisfaction from his mother doing his homework for him. 

You may think I'm kidding, but I'm not.  In the past few months, I have tutored 3 students (7th-9th grade) whose mothers have actually done the homework for them.  No, not helped - they actually did the homework for their children! 

It was in the mother's handwriting each and every time. I was appalled.  I mentioned something, politely of course, to the moms in question, and all gave me a variant of the same answer.

"That's my child, so I have a right to do his homework.  He was getting a B and we (we??) need an A."
Then they sat back as though nothing had happened.  As though what they just said made any sense at all to the development of their child academically or socially.

It honestly left me staring at them, slack-jawed, for a few minutes.  I kept waiting for the laugh, coupled with a "I'm kidding," but that never happened. 

At what point are you crossing the line from Helicopter mom to cheating facilitator?  I'd say completing sheets of homework for your child qualifies. 

Sorry to rant, but these helicopter parents can drive me crazy some days.  Has anyone else had problems with helicopter parents? Ever had a homework scenario like mine? What did you do?

Joana in CA

Welcome to the ITA Blog!

Well, we finally did it!
We put together our blog.
And it is all thanks to you!

Months ago you may remember us asking for submissions. Well, we received an unbelievable number of great tutoring stories (horror stories and success stories), resource materials, tips, and techniques. Without you, this blog wouldn't be possible. So thanks to you all, and remember to keep those submissions coming!

Obviously, since this is our first post, our blog isn't very full yet. However, over the next few months, we will be adding loads of great tutoring information, including some of our best essays.

With the training, evaluations, and everything else that goes with running ITA we are really crunched for time, however, we promise to do our absolute best to update regularly, so make sure to check back often!

Send all submissions to info@itatutor.org and remember to use the subject heading: SUBMISSION FOR BLOG

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