Ask Micki: My tutee is really shy - what to do?

© lusi

Question: Hi, Micki, I have a minor problem with one of my tutees.

You see, I started tutoring a kid in junior high who started out really shy.  I mean, he would barely say 10 words during the entire session, and it was tough to get him to say that much. 

Fast forward a few weeks: he is still just as shy as he was when we started out with our tutoring sessions.

Any ideas on what I can do to bring him out of his shell a little? 

I definitely respect that everyone is different, and that shy is OK.  In fact, I'm a little shy myself, and think that not everyone needs to be outgoing.  I am just hoping to make him a little more comfortable during tutoring so that he can get the most out of our session.

Thanks for your help,
J.A. from IA

Answer: Hey, J.A., thanks for your question!

First of all, I applaud you for being so open minded about personality differences.  So many people are not accepting of shyness and try to force everyone to be an extrovert, so I was impressed and happy to see your accepting attitude towards shyness.  Your tutee is a lucky kid!

That being said, there are a few ways to help your tutee more actively participate in the tutoring.

First step - ask lots of questions.  Don't make them interrogation style, rapid fire questions.  Instead, ask what your tutee thinks in a positive, enthusiastic tone.  By answering questions, and getting involved in learning the subject, your tutee cannot help but open up a bit more during tutoring.

Second step - praise the answers.  If your tutee is participating, and gives you a correct answer, make sure not to gloss over it and move on.  Take a few seconds to offer some praise, and a few words of encouragement.  If the answer isn't correct, praise your tutee for attempting an answer, and offer some words of encouragement about that.  Don't go over the top, though - be honest and genuine.

Third step - wrap ups, introductions, summaries, and more questions.  At the end of your tutoring session, take a few minutes and have your tutee summarize and wrap up what was learned.  Ask him if he has any questions.  Talk about the game plan for next week's tutoring, his homework, etc.  During your next session, warm up by asking him about the most exciting thing he learned during the week.

You get the idea - get your tutee talking not only about the tutoring, but about himself, his school, the material, etc.

Good luck, and happy tutoring!


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Peer Tutoring: Tip 8

Hi, everyone. Charlie here with my last peer tutoring tip (and hopefully one that you will never even need).

Tip #8) Don't be afraid to ask for help.
Sometimes, no matter how great of a tutor you are, or how motivated your tutee is, a situation may arise in which you need assistance.  Sometimes a tutor and tutee are just not compatible, maybe there is some unresolved awkward tension that won't go away, or maybe there is some other issue that has arisen during tutoring. 

Maybe it is a tutee completely refusing to listen to his/her tutor, or exhibiting really inappropriate behavior.

Whatever the case,  you may not have to solve the problem yourself.  If you have a counselor, teacher, or other administrative professional in charge of the peer tutoring, bring the issue(s) up to him/her and get some advice.   Chances are that your supervisor will be able to help get things back on track and find a workable solution to the problem(s) using some different strategies.

If your supervisor isn't able to get the tutoring sessions back on track, he/she may decide that (due to compatibility issues, or any other reason), you and your tutee may not be able to effectively work together.  Don't take this personally - some tutors and tutees just do not mesh well.

Whatever happens, stay positive and committed to helping students and peers who need the assistance.  Chances are, you won't encounter this type of problem as a peer tutor, but it is always a good idea to be prepared!

Ask Micki: How to help a young tutor get excited about fractions

After answering my most recent question about getting a tutee more enthusiastic about math sessions, I was inspired to keep the positive vibes going and answer this question that deals with the same sort of topic...enjoy!

Question: Hi, Micki. I am working with a really bright little girl who just started the first grade and is working with fractions for the first time. We're going to be going over them during our next few sessions and I was hoping you might have some suggestions for how to make them more fun than they are right now. I'm thinking black print on a boring white page is just not as exciting as it could be. Thanks!

Answer: Thanks for the great question! I love fractions for kids because there are so many great ways to make them a lot more fun.

Pizza, for example, is a great way to work with fractions. Having a mathematical pizza party is always a winner - just get a few pictures of different pizzas and cut them up into various fraction pieces. Then, have your tutee mix and match how much of each type of pizza he or she wants.

This exercise also works for slightly older tutees as they begin adding or subtracting fractions - the tutee takes various slices and adds them up as he or she "orders."

Technically even multiplication or division works. For division, give your tutee a set number of pizza slices and determine how many party goers need to be fed. For multiplication, determine the number of "guests" and figure out how much pizza you'll need if each person wants one slice, two slices, etc.

You could do the same with cake, pie, or anything else that is bright, fun, and can be segmented into pieces.

Good luck and, as always, happy tutoring!

Ask Micki: Adding zest to your tutoring sessions

Question: Hi, Micki. I have a question about encouraging my tutee to be more excited about the subject matter we're working with during our sessions.

I absolutely love tutoring, and my tutee and I get along wonderfully. He's a bright kid, funny, and pays close attention to the math that we go over together.

The thing is, I feel bad that he is so bored by math, and would love to be able to make things more interesting for him. Just for a little background, he loves music, soccer, and guitars. Thanks!

Answer: Great question! I'm always happy to get emails from people who love what they do, and get along well with their tutees.

Even better, you're going above and beyond the call of tutoring duty to make the material jump off the page for your tutee. Good for you!

Now, how to get him more enthusiastic and involved in math?

The good news is that your tutee likes music! That is good news because a lot of music relies on math, right down to the quarter and half notes used to compose tunes. So, definitely go with that interest. Find articles about math and music being related, put together music related problems, and try to tie the two subjects together whenever you can.

As for his other interests - soccer and guitars - those can work, too. Make up some problems using soccer lingo or guitar talk. Trigonometry that deals with shadows on a soccer field, algebra that focuses on guitar-centric word problems...pretty much anything that even mentions his favorite hobbies can be useful in peaking interest in a less exciting subject.

You can also come up with some games that fuse his hobbies with mathematics. A music worksheet that deals with fractions, for example. These games work especially well with younger tutees, but if you can find some more sophisticated, complex games they would also work for older tutees.

And don't forget about short breaks. Even the sharpest mind can reach overload status pretty quick after staring at the same material for hours on end. Try to take a few short breaks in between problems. Let your tutee know that he's doing a great job, talk about school, and get away from the hardcore math for a minute or two.

Good luck and, as always, happy tutoring!

Ask Micki: Annoying tutee

Question: Hi, Micki. My question is about how to work with an annoying tutee. I don't want to sound like I'm complaining, but one of my tutees is, well, really irritating.

A few examples: last week we had a 2:00 pm session scheduled. I got there at 2:00, but according to his watch, I was 3 minutes late. He said that, at the end of the session, he wanted a partial refund for the missing time.

On another occasion, he got angry at me because he had received a B on his last exam. He said that, since I was tutoring him, he should have received at least an A-; of course, he wanted some kind of refund for his trouble.

I am seriously thinking of dropping him as a client, because every one of our sessions together seems to leave me incredibly frustrated. What do I do?

Signed,
Ellen - a frustrated tutor in CA

Answer: Sorry to hear about your tough time - this tutee doesn't sound like too much fun to be around.

Unfortunately, there have been an increasing number of people who use the current economy as an excuse to abuse and intimidate businesses and freelancers (including tutors) into giving them refunds even when they are not legitimate. The current economy seems to be a gateway for people who feel entitled to everything under the sun and see no problem with making ridiculous demands.

Sorry to rant, but this is one of my pet peeves, and one that I have seen way too much of recently.

If you feel like you want to work this out with your tutee, sit down and have a quick talk with him about your expectations for the sessions, how perfect grades aren't guaranteed, how learning the material is just as important as the grade, how learning the material will gradually increase his grade point average over time, etc. Get his input on how he thinks things are going.

It would also be a good idea to mention that, while you can't refund minutes from a session, you would be more than happy to stay a bit longer to make up the time.

If none of this works, and you are still having problems with him, I would suggest dropping him from your client list.

People like him are stressful to work with, and in the long run your energy would be better spent finding new (better) clients, developing learning materials for your existing customers, etc.

Don't let this bad tutee get you down! There are plenty of wonderful tutees out there just waiting for a great tutor.

Good luck, and as always, happy tutoring!

Ask Micki: What to do about a lazy tutee?

This question was sent in by an anonymous tutor who is having problems motivating his tutee to learn.

Question: Hi, Micki. I have been tutoring for about 3 years now (mostly high school math), and have had nothing but great experiences. That is, until 2 weeks ago.

Two weeks ago I encountered, perhaps, one of the laziest tutees on earth! I started tutoring a 16 year old boy in basic statistics, and he really needs the help. His parents have already expressed their concern, and have given me the task of raising his grade from a D- to an A...in the next 4 weeks...yeah...Since it is a summer school course, and time was of the essence, we scheduled appointments for two days each week.

First, I talked to his parents and let them know, realistically, what could be done with his grade in only 4 weeks of tutoring. They understood, and were still happy for the tutoring help - they really just want him to pass the course with a decent grade. No problem, there!

But as soon as my tutee and I had our first tutoring session together, I knew it would be challenging (to say the least). He frequently gets up to "grab a sports drink," zones out while I'm talking, switches on the television, and even had the nerve to answer a phone call from his friend right in the middle of our tutoring session.

He is just not interested in learning or tutoring. What do I do with him? He's driving me crazy!
(from Anonymous)

Answer: Hi, Anonymous! You have a great question for me, and one that-I'm sure-has been asked by many frustrated tutors over the years. In fact, I remember asking myself this question a decade ago when I tutored a challenging tutee.

First of all, you did the right thing by talking to your tutee's parents about the situation, and I'm pretty sure that they know that the problem with their son's grades lies in his lazy attitude towards schoolwork.

As for your tutee: it sounds like it is important to start over with him. Lay out the tutoring rules again, and get him into a more learning friendly environment.

Try the following tips - I am sure they will help your tutoring sessions immensely.

1. Have a quick talk with your tutee about how important it is to minimize distractions so that he can get the most out of each tutoring session. Try to avoid coming across as a disciplinarian. Just be really upfront about the fact that he needs to learn this stuff to pass the class. If he knows how important the tutoring is, he may perform better.

2. Get rid of the distractions. I once had a tutee that was so distracted by the phone ringing, that it was almost as if he couldn't help himself from jumping up and answering it at least 10 times every time I tutored him.

So, we removed our tutoring session from the distraction. He and I began tutoring at the local library and, on occasion, the high school classroom. His concentration, and grades, skyrocketed! (usually by the time you have completed this step, you have a brand new, studious tutee on your hands)

3. Offer small tutoring session rewards. Maybe if the two of you get through a set number of math problems, or concepts, you can offer up a small gift card at the end of the month. This also works if you leave him with extra problems to try in between your sessions - if he finishes your worksheet, he gets some sort of "prize"!

4. Talk to the parents. Let them know that their son is having difficulty concentrating during the tutoring, and that it could impact his grades. They most likely have a good idea of what would motivate, and distract, their son, and may be able to offer you some great insight and suggestions for your future tutoring sessions. At the very least, this makes them aware of the problem and lets them know that it is not the tutor's fault that the tutee isn't performing.

5. Speak with the teacher. Is he not paying attention in class because he is goofing off, or is he genuinely having difficulty with the material. Let the teacher know that you are his tutor, and that you are concerned with his progress. It may even be necessary for him to be in lower level class at this point in time.

Whatever happens, good luck and happy tutoring!

Tutoring Does Not Equal "Homework Service."

A common misconception about tutoring is that it is a way to “get your work done” by a tutor. Nothing, however, could be further from the truth when dealing with a well-trained tutor.

Simply put, active learning is learning by doing. The job of any tutor is to focus the responsibility of learning on the tutee. Ideas, concepts, relationships, and processes are stressed over individual problems.

The ultimate goal is to turn the tutee into an independent learner by developing their general problem solving and study skills.

Although specific example problems are often used by tutors, working through a tutee’s actual homework assignment is not good tutoring.

Typically, a well trained tutor will address the skills and process needed to solve the types of problems in the homework, using similar problems. On occasion, the tutor may even allow the tutee to tackle one of their homework problems while they sit back and observe. In this way, the tutor can assess the tutee’s progress and determine if they are prepared to succeed on their homework.

To sum up, tutees are responsible for their own homework. Tutoring is simply a way for students to get the skills necessary to ultimately succeed on their own. If a tutee starts pressuring you into doing his or her homework, it's time to put the pencils down and talk about tutoring session goals (i.e. not being a homework service)!

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