Ask Micki: My tutee is really shy - what to do?

© lusi

Question: Hi, Micki, I have a minor problem with one of my tutees.

You see, I started tutoring a kid in junior high who started out really shy.  I mean, he would barely say 10 words during the entire session, and it was tough to get him to say that much. 

Fast forward a few weeks: he is still just as shy as he was when we started out with our tutoring sessions.

Any ideas on what I can do to bring him out of his shell a little? 

I definitely respect that everyone is different, and that shy is OK.  In fact, I'm a little shy myself, and think that not everyone needs to be outgoing.  I am just hoping to make him a little more comfortable during tutoring so that he can get the most out of our session.

Thanks for your help,
J.A. from IA

Answer: Hey, J.A., thanks for your question!

First of all, I applaud you for being so open minded about personality differences.  So many people are not accepting of shyness and try to force everyone to be an extrovert, so I was impressed and happy to see your accepting attitude towards shyness.  Your tutee is a lucky kid!

That being said, there are a few ways to help your tutee more actively participate in the tutoring.

First step - ask lots of questions.  Don't make them interrogation style, rapid fire questions.  Instead, ask what your tutee thinks in a positive, enthusiastic tone.  By answering questions, and getting involved in learning the subject, your tutee cannot help but open up a bit more during tutoring.

Second step - praise the answers.  If your tutee is participating, and gives you a correct answer, make sure not to gloss over it and move on.  Take a few seconds to offer some praise, and a few words of encouragement.  If the answer isn't correct, praise your tutee for attempting an answer, and offer some words of encouragement about that.  Don't go over the top, though - be honest and genuine.

Third step - wrap ups, introductions, summaries, and more questions.  At the end of your tutoring session, take a few minutes and have your tutee summarize and wrap up what was learned.  Ask him if he has any questions.  Talk about the game plan for next week's tutoring, his homework, etc.  During your next session, warm up by asking him about the most exciting thing he learned during the week.

You get the idea - get your tutee talking not only about the tutoring, but about himself, his school, the material, etc.

Good luck, and happy tutoring!


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Tips From Charlie: Respecting Different Learning Styles

Recently I was talking to James, a friend and fellow tutor; he's been a French and German language tutor for quite a few years now. 

We were talking about learning styles, and he mentioned that one of his tutees wasn't doing so well with French language retention and vocabulary.  James was perplexed.  He had pulled out virtually every worksheet, game, and flash card trick he could think of, and even tried to put together some fun quizzes hoping that they would help.  No luck.

Then suddenly it dawned on James that every technique he was trying had been visual in nature.  Maybe what his tutee needed was audio based learning tools.  True, many people are visual learners, but some respond best to the non-visual.

So, James' next French tutoring session included speaking drills, fun spoken word games, and an audio CD that included some basic French conversations. 

It was a success! James' tutee aced his next test, felt much more confident with his French language skills, and suddenly his vocabulary was improving dramatically. 

James' story got me thinking - how often do I stick to the same old routine, and not pay close attention to the non-visual learning styles that some tutees respond to? 

Maybe it's time for me to re-evaluate my tutees' needs and see if I can help them perform even better!

Tips from Charlie: The fun of math...no kidding!

Recently I had my fifth tutoring session with a 13 year old who hated (and I mean HATED) math.  He did everything he could to avoid doing his math homework, looked bummed out during tutoring, and dreaded going to math class. 

So, I did what every tutor is renowned for doing - I communicated with him about why he hated math so much.  His two main complaints:

1) Math is boring, and he'd never use it (how many times have I heard that one?)
2) He felt freaked out and unprepared during tests (which caused him to get low grades, increasing his dislike for math in general)

Well, the second issue I knew I could handle.  After all, tutoring not only increases a student's preparedness for classes and tests, but it also raises a student's confidence level. 

The first "I hate math" issue, on the other hand, would be a little bit more of a challenge. 

After all, my tutee was 13 years old, and I knew the standard "kid stuff" wouldn't fly.  He was working on Geometry at the junior high level.  So, I put away the worksheets aimed at the elementary school crowd, and started wracking my brain for fun activities that would engage (not insult) a teenager with a dislike for the mathematical arts.

We talked for a little while during our first tutoring session together, and eventually wound up on the subject of hobbies.  As it turned out (luckily for me), my tutee loved anything to do with space, astronomy, and rockets.

Eureka!  I had found something that related to geometry, and knew I had a way to connect with him during tutoring. 

I came up with a few worksheets that laid out geometry and angles as they related to rocket launches, related angles to various space concepts (such as meteors or UFOs falling to earth and casting shadows), and pretty much presented every math tutoring session as something to do with space and rockets.

So far it has been a huge hit, my tutee is excited about learning the new concepts, and he is even talking about being an astronomer or Air Force pilot someday. 

Best of all, he just got his last geometry test back this week, and we were both thrilled to see the "Great job! A-" at the top of the paper!

Peer Tutoring: Tip 7

Hi, everyone - Charlie here with peer tutoring tip #7!

Peer tutoring tip #7: Listening the right way.

One of your most important tasks as a successful tutor is to be an effective listener.  A tutee's comments going "in one ear, and out the other" is no way to tutor.  You need to engage your tutee in effective communication during the tutoring.  Listen to your tutee's needs and questions during tutoring to prevent the tutoring session from turning into a lecture/classroom environment.  


During tutoring, it is also important to stimulate discussion and let your tutee know that he/she is being listened to during tutoring.  Ask questions, provide talking points, and answer any questions your tutee may have.  Discussing the material is a great way to tutor, because you will both be working towards a better understanding of the topics at hand.  Asking great questions is also a way to help the dialogue and knowledge stick in your tutee's mind so that he/she can replay it and utilize it after the tutoring has ended.


Listening and communicating also helps build tutoring rapport, because you are letting your tutee know that you are interested in his/her success.  Good listening will also help you as a tutor gauge your tutee's progress, and build future sessions based on previous knowledge covered (and understood by your tutee) during past tutoring sessions.  

As you can see, listening plays a huge role in peer tutoring success!
That's all for now, but stay tuned for peer tutoring tip #8, coming soon!

Peer Tutoring: Tip 6

Hi, Charlie again with peer tutoring tip #6!

Tip #6: Pay attention to body language.
Your body language, and the body language of your tutee, are both important (and often overlooked) elements of a tutoring session.  If the tutor has open, relaxed body language, it will put the tutee at ease, and make tutoring more effective. 

Smile, make eye contact (if your tutee is comfortable with it; some people are not, and that is OK), keep your body language open (no crossed arms or legs), lean in and pay attention to what your tutee is saying and show it with nods, offer hospitable gestures such as a handshake when the tutee arrives for tutoring. 

Maintaining open, relaxed, friendly body language will create a comfortable tutoring atmosphere that will make tutoring more effective and enjoyable for both of you.

Keep in mind, too, that although you may do all of these things, some tutees are naturally just more shy and introverted than others, and that is OK.  No need to force an introvert to be an extrovert - that's not your job.  Your job is to tutor.  If you have a shy tutee, give him or her some time to get comfortable with you and the tutoring.  It could be that he or she just needs a few tutoring sessions to open up and get more relaxed.

Well, that's all for now.  Stay tuned for tip #7, coming soon!

Peer Tutoring: Tip 5

Charlie here with tip # 5 for all you peer tutors!

Tip #5: Establish the best tutoring environment.
The tutoring environment and atmosphere is a really important, and often overlooked, aspect of tutoring.  As with most tutoring, it is important to establish a casual, quiet, neutral environment for your peer tutoring sessions.

This should be a fairly quiet place free from distractions so that you and your tutee can focus on tutoring instead of your surroundings.  Noisy cafeterias or crowded restaurants are especially bad choices since they are not only loud and distracting, but they also offer the hazard of food and drink on the table.  One wrong move and your study materials wind up covered in BBQ sauce and iced tea...trust me, I found out the hard way many years ago.

It is also a good idea to try and find a neutral meeting ground where each of you feel comfortable talking, and no one has a territorial advantage.  A quiet classroom with side-by-side seating or a private library study room are both great choices for peer tutoring.  The main floor of the library may not be a good choice, however, eve though there is plenty of quiet.  Why?  Because the forced quiet of the library may make conversation difficult.  Definitely opt for a private study room instead. 

Of course, if your peer tutoring program provides a designated space for the tutoring, that makes your job a bit easier when it comes to finding the perfect tutoring environment. Definitely take advantage of any provided tutoring spaces.  Chances are, the tutoring program coordinator already has set up an optimal tutoring setting. 

Well, that's it for tip #5, but stay tuned for tip #6, coming soon!

Peer Tutoring: Tip 4

Charlie here, again, with tip 4 for peer tutors!

Tip #4: Don't borrow from your tutee.
Yes, I know, another common sense tip, but, again, you'd be shocked how many peer tutors I have worked with who have borrowed from their peer tutees.  Even worse, many of them have forgotten to return the borrowed items.

The thing about peer tutoring is that, as the name suggests, you are working with a peer, maybe even a long time school friend.  This can lead to scenarios in which a tutor is so comfortable with the tutee on a friendship level that he/she starts acting more like a friend and less like a tutor. 

I knew one tutor who borrowed $1 from his tutee when he peer tutored back in high school.  The problem was that the tutor repeatedly forgot to pay the tutee back, the school year came to an end, and the tension between the two of them got so bad that they could not work together over the summer.  All that over $1. 

Another tutor I know borrowed a CD from his tutee, accidentally left it in the hot car during the tutoring session, and ruined it.  The tutee didn't want to say anything, and it led to some awkwardness. 

Still another tutor I knew borrowed school supplies from the tutee during every session (pencil lead, erasers, paper, folders, etc.).  This made the tutor seem frazzled and disorganized, and he did not get a very good review at the end of the semester.

No matter what the item is, or how much money it is, never borrow from your tutee.  Borrowing anything at all can make you look a lot less professional, and could even cause some unwanted tension in the future.  Sure, on occasion you may need to quickly borrow a pencil sharpener, or even a pencil, during the session, but make sure to return it, and remember extra pencils/a pencil sharpener for your next session.  Be prepared so that you can avoid borrowing anything. 

Well, that's it for now.  Stay tuned for Tip #5, coming soon!

Peer Tutoring: Tip 3

Hi, Charlie here, again, with peer tutoring tip #3, and this one is all about using your common sense!

Tip #3: Don't Be Late!
I know, common sense, right?  But you would be surprised how many people I have known during my years of tutoring who show up 5, 10, even 20 minutes late for their own tutoring sessions. 

Tutors who are on time are showing their tutees that they are taking their tutoring duties seriously.  Punctual tutors are also showcasing the fact that they are professional, enthusiastic, and eager to help their tutees learn.  In contrast, a tutor who is chronically late to tutoring sessions gives the impression that he/she doesn't care enough about the tutee, or the tutoring, to make it to the session on time. 

So try to be on time for every one of your tutoring sessions.  If you're running late for some unavoidable reason, make sure to let your tutee, or the person in charge of the tutoring sessions (teacher, administrator, etc.), know as soon as possible.

Stay tuned for peer tutoring tip #4!

Peer Tutoring: Tip 2

Hi guys, Charlie again with tip #2 of 8 for peer tutors:

Tip #2: Get the Details.
Find out exactly is involved in you being a peer tutor.   What are your exact tutor job duties?  Will you be helping your peer tutee with in class work?  Will you be tutoring the skills needed to improve homework assignments?  What type of student will you be tutoring?  How is he/she performing in class?  Where will you meet to tutor?

It is next to impossible to be a successful tutor if you aren't sure who you are tutoring, where you are tutoring, or what you will be doing.

Ask the person in charge of the tutoring program about the details, get the details from him/her.   If all else fails, make a quick appointment to meet with your peer tutee, and get the details for some of the above questions from him/her.

That's it for now; Stay tuned for Peer Tutoring Tip #3!

Peer Tutoring: Tip 1

Hi ITA Blog readers, Charlie the tutor here with part 1 of my 8 part tip series for peer tutoring. Why peer tutoring, you ask?

Well, I got the idea from one of my tutees. He's a Sophmore in high school, and has just been asked to be a peer tutor for his school. It's pretty cool that a kid I've been tutoring since he was in the 5th grade is now going to be a tutor himself!

Anyway, he asked me about tips for peer tutors, and I thought it'd be a great idea to share them here, too, for other peer tutors to read. The ideas can be applied to pretty much any peer tutoring situation.

So, without further ado, here is the first (and probably easiest!) tip for peer tutors.

Tip #1: Get to know your tutee.
Talk to your tutee, find out what he/she likes, ask about hobbies and interests, talk about favorite academic subjects, ask about preferred names/nicknames...basically, talk to your tutee the way you would talk to a new friend. Don't get too personal, but do a good job of putting your tutee at ease before tutoring even begins.

Getting to know your tutee on a more casual and personal level can make tutoring a lot more enjoyable and a lot more effective.

That's it for Tip #1 (told you it was an easy one!), but I'll be back tomorrow with tip #2.

Ask Micki: Negative Tutee

Question: Hi, Micki! I'm an English tutor who has been having some trouble with a tutee being really negative. Every time we get together for tutoring, he tells me "my professor hates me," "English stinks," "my professor wants us all to fail," etc. I've tried boosting his confidence during tutoring, but it's not helping. The tutoring sessions are really negative, and I think it is preventing him from learning the material. What to do?

Thanks,
Michelle W., English Tutor from Madison, WI

Answer: Hi, Michelle. Sorry to hear that your tutoring session have been such a downer. Negativity can drag down even the most positive tutor, and can be tough on both the tutor and the tutee. Since your tutee is frustrated with his course, maybe you could approach his learning style during tutoring. Maybe respond with something like:

"Sorry to hear that this class is giving you a hard time this semester. Let's check out a few of the things that are giving you grief. I'm sure we'll be able to work through the problems together, and give you a good understanding of the material."

" I don't think that your professor hates you. He/she may just have a different learning style than you do. Let's go through the material together so that you'll have a great understanding of things, even if your professor isn't totally clear."

"Let's review how you've been studying and doing your essays/homework. Maybe we can find some ways to streamline things a bit, and make your homework (and lecture) time less stressful."

Notice, in all of these responses, you're getting your tutee actively involved in finding tutoring solutions with you.

Now there are those rare cases when a professor and student really don't get along, or the professor is simply (forgive my tactless word choice) a jerk. In those cases, your tutee may not be able to solve things through tutoring. If the professor is really awful, he/she may need to go to the school administration to figure things out.

That being said, a lot of students are convinced that they have a prfoessor who is trying to fail everyone in the class. In most of those cases, a different learning approach during tutoring can help. And remember, a positive tutor can work wonders for confidence, self-esteem, and learning.

Good luck an, as always, happy tutoring!

Ask Micki: 3 Hours of Tutoring?

Question: Hi, Micki. I have a question about how long is too long for weekly tutoring sessions. I tutor a college student in Chemistry, and he was letting me know about his class schedule this semester. My tutee is carrying a lot of units, and was wondering if we could do a three hour tutoring session once a week instead of our usual three-one hour tutoring sessions. Any thoughts on this tutoring idea?

- Chem Tutor in SC

Answer: Hi Chem Tutor - good question! The short answer to your tutee's question is "no." For weekly tutoring, the three hour session is typically not the best way to go for a variety of reasons: concentration, tutoring burn out, knowledge retention, and test schedule incompatabilities are some of those reasons.

A three hour chemistry class would be bad enough, but having to stay focused and eager to learn during three hours of tutoring is nearly impossible. Plus, having to remember important details and concepts for six days straight could be a problem, particularly during exam time.

My advice would be to sit down with your tutee and try to find three mutually workable days/times for your tutoring meetings. If there is any way that you can fit in three one hour tutoring sessions, or even two 90 minute tutoring sessions, I would definitely do that.

Maybe, to make things easier, you two could meet at the school's library, at a halfway point, on weekends, early mornings, or later at night? Stop back and let us know how things work out for you!

And, as always, happy tutoring!

Tips from Charlie: 5 Quick Tips for Online Tutors

Tips from Charlie: 5 Quick Tips to Make the Most of E-Tutoring

Online tutoring is growing in popularity, and it is important that tutors know the subtle differences between online tutoring and in-person tutoring. It is not just the technology that sets these tutoring styles apart, but the approaches and communication methods used.

Below are 5 quick tips you can use for polishing up your online tutoring skills. You'll most likely recognize a lot of these tips from in-person tutoring scenarios, but with some very subtle changes to make them more fitted to online tutoring.

Enjoy!

Tip #1: Adapt to the comfort level of your tutee. Don't overload him or her with a bunch of different types of technology and communication methods (i.e live chat, email, message board, etc.) before your tutoring even begins; ask what types of communication preferences your tutee has. If he or she likes live chat tutoring, then go for that approach. If your tutee works best via forum posting, then use that tutoring approach. The point is that you want the tutoring session to be comfortable for your tutee so that he or she can focus entirely on the learning, and not on the technology.

Tip# 2: Be patient with your tutee. If you are live chat tutoring, or tutoring in some other way that allows instant discussions, allow ample time for your tutee to answer your questions. There is nothing more frustrating for a tutee than attempting to work through a problem only to be cut off by the tutor.

If a significant amount of time has passed, you may want to check in with your tutee to make sure that he or she is still working, but make sure that you give the tutee plenty of time so that he or she doesn't feel rushed. A rushed tutoring session is never successful.

Patience on the part of the tutor is even more important in online tutoring situations that involve email or forum postings - make sure your tutee feels heard, but never make him or feel rushed. Not every silence needs to be filled in by the tutor. Sometimes your tutee is contemplating a concept, or the next step of the problem.

Tip #3: Keep your online tutoring time relaxed, friendly, and open. Your tutoring session should put your tutee at ease, and make him or her comfortable enough to try new concepts, answer questions, etc.

The dialogue between you two during tutoring also doesn't have to be perfect in spelling or grammatical structure (with the exception of English, language arts, etc.). Often, typing quickly into live chat can yield a few typos; don't worry about these, just stay focused on the tutoring. If you are tutoring math, for example, you shouldn't spend time correcting the tutee's live chat sentence structure when you could be helping him or her with algebra. Focus on the subject at hand, not just how your tutee phrases questions and answers. This will not only make the tutoring more productive, but it will also keep your tutee from feeling self-conscious about his or her participation during he tutoring session.

Tip #4: Be flexible during tutoring, just like you would be in a traditional tutoring environment. You may expect a set number of problems or things to be done during the tutoring session, but it is important to move at the pace that your tutee is most comfortable with. Let your tutee's knowledge and progress drive the tutoring session. If that means getting a bit less, or a bit more, done than you had planned, then so be it.

Tip #5: Keep your tutoring fresh and interesting. Try contributing new discussions, activities, and thought provoking exercises for your tutee during each tutoring session. Come up with ways of opening up dialogue with your tutee that gets him or her thinking about the subject in a bunch of different ways. Ask questions that make your tutee think. Talk about new, innovative ways of solving problems.

An enthusiastic tutor keeps tutees excited about learning, so never underestimate your attitude - it can make or break a tutoring session!

Good luck out there in tutoring cyberspace!
-Charlie

Ask Micki: Tutee lied to me during tutoring

Question: Hi, Micki. I recently had a problem during a tutoring session, and I was hoping you could help me. My tutee and I were working on some math problems, and I busted out one of my tutor training techniques (i.e. not doing your tutee's homework).

I asked her whether or not the problems were part her upcoming take-home final, and she told me, "no," that they were practice problems sent home as a worksheet by her professor.

Well, during our next tutoring session she showed me her graded take-home test, and I was shocked! She had lied to me about the problems being practice problems, and had inadvertently gotten me to do a bunch of her math final for her.

Honestly, I'm ticked off at being duped, and feel like she cheated. When I asked her about it, she just laughed it off, said I was easy to fool, and started talking about the next math class she'll need help with.

Due to integrity issues, and feeling like our tutoring ethics don't mesh, I dropped her from my tutoring schedule. My question is: What should I do to make sure this doesn't happen again at one of my other tutoring sessions? Thanks!

- J.A., a ticked off tutor in VA

Answer: Hi, there, ticked off tutor. First of all, sorry to hear about your unpleasant tutoring situation. It is always tough when a tutee breaks the tutor-tutee trust that takes at least a few tutoring sessions to build. In this case, your tutee pretty much lied to you, and tricked you into doing her final exam - not cool, and it won't serve her well as she takes more math classes in the future.

Second, good for you staying ethical, trying to do the right thing, and looking elsewhere for tutoring clients. There are plenty of tutees who are willing to put in the time and effort learning new skills, and you will be better off working with people who care about academic integrity.

Now, on to your question. To prevent this kind of thing from happening during future tutoring sessions, try the following steps:

1. Try out a learning contract. As strange as it may sound, a learning contract often gives the tutor and tutee a more formal framework for tutoring sessions, keeps the tutee accountable for his or her actions, and serves as a reminder that certain behaviors are expected for a good learning/tutoring experience.

2. Talk to your tutee about why tutoring is not a homework service. It could be that your tutee doesn't understand why you won't do homework for them. Let your tutee know that by working problems (rather than just doing their homework), you are helping them learn a skill that they can take with them into the classroom. The skills they learn through tutoring will also be helpful later, when they need to build on that knowledge to master more advanced material.

3. Review the take-home tests and homework prior to starting each tutoring session. Let the tutee know that you will be looking at the test/homework before the session so that you will know what concepts you need to tutor. It is also a good idea to look over the test/homework after it is graded. Checking out the test/homework works well not only because you get to see exactly what problems are on there, but also because the tutee knows that you are aware of what is on the test/homework prior to tutoring. It will keep your tutee honest.

Good luck and, as always, happy tutoring!
~ Micki

Ask Micki: Sports Tutoring

Question: Hi, Micki. I have a question about possibly tutoring a non-traditional subject.

I coach for a local little league team, and was recently contacted about tutoring a sport (baseball pitching, to be exact), but I have no clue if this is something that falls under the realm of tutoring, if it is possible, how much I should charge, etc. Any advice on this? Thanks!

~ Coach, math tutor, and science tutor from So. Cal.

Answer: You sound like one busy person! I would say, without a doubt, a big resounding YES, go for it! If you are helping someone learn a skill, then I would consider it tutoring - since you have an athlete with a need to learn better pitching techniques, you are acting as a tutor for that skill.

I have talked to a lot of tutors over the past few years who have tutored basketball, the physics of baseball, water polo, ice skating...pretty much every sport under the sun will have potential "tutees" who need to improve their skills.

As far as what to charge, my advice would be to stick with your typical rates, and treat this job exactly like any other tutoring gig. Think of it like this - you'll be the exact same professional, friendly tutor, charging an appropriate rate, except instead of meeting at a table, you'll be meeting on the field.

Good luck, and happy tutoring!

Ask Micki: Tutoring a Family Member

Question: Hi, Micki. I have been tutoring for about 9 years, and was just recently asked if I could tutor my 10 year old niece. I know that mixing business and personal life can be disastrous, and I am wondering if saying "yes" to this tutoring gig is a bad idea? Should I avoid working with family?

Thanks for your help!
~ Uncertain Aunt, WI.

Answer: Hi, Uncertain Aunt, thanks for your question! Traditionally, a lot of people say that mixing family and business is a recipe for disaster. I disagree.

I think that tutoring family members can be fun, rewarding, and helpful for the tutee - all of the elements that any of your tutoring sessions have.

Think about all of the older brothers and sisters who help their younger siblings with homework, or parents who successfully homeschool their children. These are both methods of tutoring or teaching that work well.

I had a lot of help from relatives when it came to my homework, and remember turning to my aunt for help with biology, my dad for math, my grandfather for some practical garage skills, etc...all tutoring in their own way. It was fantastic! I learned a lot during the "tutoring," had fun, and was able to spend some time getting to know them better.

The trick to making it work? Laying down a few ground rules and keeping the lines of communication open between you and your tutee.

Let your niece/tutee (and her parents) know that you are excited about working together, that you know that tutoring will be beneficial for her, and that you think it would be a great idea to set up some times for tutoring sessions. Approach the scheduling as a way to fit quality tutoring time in to everyone's busy schedule.

Let your sister know, in a nice, polite way, that you need to keep track of the tutoring appointments (via time sheet) for record keeping purposes.

This will also help avoid any billing pitfalls in the future if you are being paid for your tutoring. If all else fails, tell her that it is a requirement for your business budget and taxes that you account for income and time scheduled.

Yes, they are family, but treating your tutoring business like a business is an easy way to keep the tension out of the scenario.

Being too casual with your tutoring schedule or record keeping could lead to problems, so treat your niece/sister like any other client when it comes to paperwork. Trust me on this, I found out the hard way!

When the time comes for your first tutoring session, sit down with your niece and let her know what you'll be going over, what you expect her to do, what she can expect of you as a tutor, etc. Use kid friendly terms, but lay out the rules and the groundwork for a successful tutoring relationship.

Last of all - have fun, and enjoy the one-on-one "aunt time" you get to spend with your niece!

Good luck, and happy tutoring!

Ask Micki: Late for tutoring sessions

Question: Hi, Micki. I have a tutee (I'll call him Harry) who I have been tutoring now for over a year. He's a great guy, pays attention during our calculus tutoring, and has just been a model tutee except for one thing...recently he has been late showing up for tutoring sessions.

At first, Harry was a minute or two late, but now he shows up for every tutoring session (2 per week) *at least* 15 minutes late. The problem is that I have another tutoring appointment right after his, and I don't want to be late because of Harry's tardiness.

What can I do? I probably should have done something earlier - it has been going on for about 3 months, and I'm kind of worried that it may be too late to fix things.

Thanks for your help!
Signed,
a slightly frustrated tutor in Rhode Island.

Answer: Hi, thanks for your question!

First of all, have no fear - it is never too late to fix a problem! Especially since it sounds like you two have a great tutor / tutee relationship; that should make it much easier to talk to "Harry" about how your tutoring sessions are going.

This kind of problem is all about communication. Sit down for a few minutes with Harry before the tutoring session starts, and figure out why he is always running late.

Has he been putting in extra hours at work? Maybe he is taking part in an activity that ends too close to your tutoring start time. Maybe he took a new job further from home, and has been getting stuck in traffic. The best way to figure out what's up is to ask Harry about his schedule.

I would avoid saying anything confrontational (why ruin a great tutoring relationship?), and focus on how you two can fix the scheduling issue.

Mention that you have another tutoring appointment, need to leave on time, and don't want to short change Harry on any of his calculus tutoring.

Also, keep in mind that it may be time to change things and rearrange when and where you two meet for tutoring.

If Harry is having trouble getting to the tutoring sessions because of work, or school, maybe you could reschedule to another day or time. If he is getting stuck in traffic, maybe you two could meet halfway someplace and work there - he'd be on time, and you could leave from the meeting place to make it to your next tutoring appointment on time.

Whatever the situation may be with Harry's schedule, you two should have no trouble working it out as long as you keep your dialogue open, friendly, and non-confrontational. Think of this like a calculus problem you may encounter during tutoring - if you two patiently work on this together, the solution will be easy to find!

Good luck, and as always, happy tutoring!

Tips from Charlie: Learning Tools

I used to think that tutoring was all about using my own knowledge and my tutee's textbook.

Then I started tutoring younger kids and it changed the way I tutored forever.

Kids can be great to work with.  They are enthusiastic (most of the time), are honest about what they do and don't know, and have a very different way of learning...they also, like myself, have shorter attention spans than most grown adults!

I started realizing that my tutoring sessions with kids were just not as exciting and full of zest as they could be.  So, I sat down and did some thinking.  What did I respond to at a younger age? What bored me?  What got me enthusiastic about learning?

The answer, as it turns out, was using learning tools during our tutoring sessions.

Learning tools can turn a drab tutoring session into an exciting learning opportunity!

I used simple experiments to tutor the concepts of electricity and chemistry.  I brought games and activities that showcased the exciting world of math.  I dug out my old microscope and brought simple slides to go over biology concepts and make them more interesting.

In other words, any tutoring tool I could get my hands on (that related to the subjects I tutored), I brought with me to tutoring sessions.

The results were amazing, and I noticed that not only was I getting more excited learners, but I was getting happier parents.  One mom told me that I was the only person who had managed to get her son excited about science.  He had hated the subject before our tutoring had started.

An unexpected benefit to this new technique were the referrals I was getting from other parents.  I was known as the fun tutor who could actually get kids to learn boring subjects.  I was honored, and thrilled to have the "title."

So, if you are looking for a way to spice up your sessions, thrill parents, and garner referrals, look no further than tutoring and learning tools!

~ Charlie

Ask Micki: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde Tutee

Question: Hello, Micki. I'm having a small problem that I am hoping you could help me with. My tutee, I'll call him Charlie, is a really friendly guy normally. We are actually friends at our university (we're freshmen), and I tutor him in Calculus on the weekends.

The problem is, during our tutoring sessions, Charlie is a totally different person. He gets really defensive when he doesn't know the answer to a question, criticizes the way I try to help him, is generally cranky, and sometimes he outright lies about knowing how to do a problem even when he really doesn't.

I don't know what to do. We're pretty good friends outside of the tutoring sessions, so it is kind of an awkward situation.

Thanks for your help!
~ Anonymous Math Tutor from Lansing, MI

Answer: Hi, there, Anonymous Math Tutor - sounds like an awkward situation, without a doubt!

First off, if the situation is really bad, and it is truly uncomfortable tutoring Charlie, it may be best to look elsewhere for a tutee. Dropping a tutee is difficult, but can become necessary if the sessions are uncomfortable to the point of being unproductive.

Some personalities mesh wonderfully in friendship, but not so well professionally.

That being said...Believe it or not, I've heard of this happening quite a bit with friends who start tutoring together. The thing is your friend/tutee is feeling kind of self-conscious right now because he is, essentially, admitting that you may know a bit more about math than he does.

He's putting himself out there and accepting help, not an easy thing for some people to do.

Charlie may also be having a tough time separating the business side of his life (tutoring sessions) with the personal side of his life (your friendship).

Add to that the fact that he is probably a little apprehensive about his class, new environment, grades, etc., and you can see how the situation may be a bit more tense than your usual tutoring sessions.

The good news is that practically every one I have talked to who has had this problem has told me that it just takes time and patience for the situation to take care of itself.

Be patient with Charlie, let him know that he is doing a great job, ask him about his class outside of your usual tutoring sessions, and let him know that you understand how difficult Calculus can be.

Most of all, stay friendly and professional during tutoring, and eventually you and Charlie will have a much better tutoring relationship.

Good luck, and as always, happy tutoring!

Ask Micki: How to help a young tutor get excited about fractions

After answering my most recent question about getting a tutee more enthusiastic about math sessions, I was inspired to keep the positive vibes going and answer this question that deals with the same sort of topic...enjoy!

Question: Hi, Micki. I am working with a really bright little girl who just started the first grade and is working with fractions for the first time. We're going to be going over them during our next few sessions and I was hoping you might have some suggestions for how to make them more fun than they are right now. I'm thinking black print on a boring white page is just not as exciting as it could be. Thanks!

Answer: Thanks for the great question! I love fractions for kids because there are so many great ways to make them a lot more fun.

Pizza, for example, is a great way to work with fractions. Having a mathematical pizza party is always a winner - just get a few pictures of different pizzas and cut them up into various fraction pieces. Then, have your tutee mix and match how much of each type of pizza he or she wants.

This exercise also works for slightly older tutees as they begin adding or subtracting fractions - the tutee takes various slices and adds them up as he or she "orders."

Technically even multiplication or division works. For division, give your tutee a set number of pizza slices and determine how many party goers need to be fed. For multiplication, determine the number of "guests" and figure out how much pizza you'll need if each person wants one slice, two slices, etc.

You could do the same with cake, pie, or anything else that is bright, fun, and can be segmented into pieces.

Good luck and, as always, happy tutoring!